The craic around town is:
Bob being unemployment and homeless - This is hilarious, he's even living in the infamous "Shelter", eating leftovers, stealing outta bins the whole shibang. Although on the plus side Bob is the worlds poshest, most dashing hobo. Catch him robbing people's leftovers and expect to find a man weeping in remorse and shame? Nope - not a chance. Head held high - "just clearing up"... Are ya fucking well? Go get a job ya lazy fuck.
Sarah and the apartment - I have no idea what this Sarah one is. I think if I cast my mind back she used to be a trust fund baby, living on Daddy's money. Followed by a stint as a teacher. And in the great footsteps Barry O'Hanlon before her - she turned her back on teaching for a life as a
fearless journalist. Now she's working in Rainbows or whatever it's called now. But she owns a house...... I dunno. What I DO know is that she is looking R.O.U.G.H, or more specifically she's looking
RUFF. I'm thinking she's a craic addict and on the game.
Jo being a bitch - honest to God this one is a fecking wagon. On her CV it must say - special skills: Having bad hair and being a thundering cunt, also have a special interest in referring to loved ones through patronising nicknames, petal; love; chicken etc. She's frolicking around the community centre and in the second hand shop pretending she gives a shite about helping people when in actual fact she just likes to be in a public position so she can show off her expertise in being a loudmouth, argumentative, shrill voiced bollox.
Carol and the shampoo and Wayne. I don't even know
where to begin here. So Wayne is selling shampoo - only he has no shampoo, so he fills the bottles with cheap shampoo???? Cause obviously he'd have the empty bottles hanging round for no reason....... (Ah HA bet you didn't think I'd find the loophole in THAT one Fair City did ya???) This shampoo then in turn causes serious reactions in the people using it. Cause we all know that using the Dunnes own brand shampoo will lead to hairloss, open wounds and all the rest. Hmmmm. Oh the hilariousness of these lot and their shenanigans.......
Cleo and the dead mother and her weirdo boyfriend. So, Cleo
really knows how to pick them...... Remember Pierce? Yeah, that went well. So she's decided hey!! Who needs men? I'm gonna go out with a bucket. So she did and his name is Robert. As a bucket it's difficult for Robert to deal with problems, problems such as Cleo not wanting to meet her mother. What's the solution? Sit him down and say "Please Robert, I can't do that"? No. Explain the reasoning behind the love loss between mother and daughter? No. Ask Delores to intervene and explain the severity of the situation? No. Use your old friend and part time stripper as a fake mother. An old friend you met on the streets back in the days you used to sell your fanny for fags? YES!!!!!!! Oh, but not only that - how about going as far out as to
kill off mother replacement. Without even telling the replacement (who's still running all over Carrigstown), and filling her urn with fag butts from McCoys and attending a fake funeral. Yup - that's the way to go. i see nothing but blue skies ahead for these two
Rachel and TJ - A prediction: Rachel will very soon be wearing her knickers round her ankles and getting knocked up by TJ. True. I miss his mullet though.......
And my favourite - Mina from Glenroe turning up with a wig, great craic!!!!
