Sound effects, kidnappings and eggs

Jo loves making noises. Fucking loves it. I shudder to think what she sounds like riding cause just walking around doing her normal business she squeaks, squeals and moans like she's auditioning for When Harry Met Sally. I presume in bed she sounds like Larvelle Jones from Police Academy.

20 seconds in is the sound she makes when Dermotsch comes, presumably on her back

That Charlotte learned the ways of the skank pretty early. She's pretty young to be using her vagina to gain affection? The way to a man's heart is through your vagina right? Nope - that's the way to he penis. Which she did get. Romantic way to lose your virginity - in your brothers robbery shed with a lad who you basically have to beg to ride ya. Poor bitch will learn. Wonder will they make her a hooker now or later. Cause you know it's on the cards.

The object of her affections, Paul's son Callum, couldn't give a fuck. Well, he could give a fuck, that's how she lost her v card in the robbery shed. But he doesn't like her. And I'd say he's only ripping he ever threw it in her now that her father is after him. Wonder did Paddy Bishop know that the same place he brought Callum for his little kidnapping was where his little girl sat on her first dick?

I have to say - the little kidnapping was a little bit terrifying. Poor Callum tied up, Paddy at his feet with a hammer and a chisel on his toes. Fucking freaked me out. Ughhhhhhh, hammering his toes off with a chisel, fucking horrific.

And lastly :

Does Niamh EVER smile? Cheer up cunthooks, and maybe eat a salad......

Will Caoimhe EVER find a hairbrush?

And doesn't Paul's head look EXACTLY like an egg?

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA

Two of the worlds worst actors - Tommy and Blacky Connors Luke has a final showdown upstairs in The Station (a place which previously never had an upstairs, but conveniently found one for this fight)

All culminates in Tommy falling down the stairs. Luke, that HEARTLESS bastard just leaves him there to die.

EXTRA DRAMA - skip to a shot of the scene from the CCTV. OH THE DRAMATIC IRONY. Someone in FC must have recently been taking some English literature classes.


EVEN MORE DRAMA - FC usually starts with the into. Not this time! Oh NOT THIS TIME. UBER dramatic scene of Tommy Dillion still on the floor of The Station, this time not moving. All you can hear are almost silent pub sounds. Is he dead? Is he alive? Then we have to wait til almot halfway through the episode for him to be found - way to keep us guessing.

Not at all staged - this is real time action. Powerful stuff........

The bitter feud between Yvonne and Carol is getting HILARIOUS. Backstory - Yvonne and Louis ride and have a HORRIBLE relationship. They break up when Yvonne goes off to be a tuna bumper. Louis and Carol start riding, have a son, then nearly get married, but don't. Then Louis fucks off with his ex wife to America. In the meantime Yvonne, who HATED Louis the whole time they were together, is now bezzie mates with him, and is his representative in Carrigstown - i.e. minds his money/business. And remember that child Louis had with Carol - well that little scither gets maintenence from Louis. LOTS of it - €5000 for 6 months. (I swear I'm considering it..........) Except Yvonne had a few little money problems and used this money for herself. She covered this by making out to Carol that she was skimping on the money as Carol was spending it all on vodka and fags (which in fairness, she kinda was) Hilarious little rows came from this and escalated to all out war. Each woman trying to out do each other at any length.

It really shows Carol as a massive slutty hooker. She used to bone slimy solicitor Farrell. He was slimy then and he's even slimier now with his vile little smig. He is Louis', and in turn Yvonne's solicitor. In order to get information and dirt on Yvonne, Carol is letting Farrell get his slimy little smig near HER slimy little smig (as in her vagina in case you didn't get that) That's fairly fucking slutty. But it worked, her he vagina must be excellent because Farrell dumped Yvonne as a client and spilled all her secrets. Bitchy comments and hilarious pranks ensue........

OH - and Callum and Caoimhe boned in a car on Paul's garage. When caught by the Guards Caoimhe closed the car door and put it in again. Cause that's what people do...........