Craic in Carrigstown

Slap happy Suzanne is back, head full of therapy and a dripin crotch for Damian it would seem. As soon as she was back, she decides to go after poor, poor sexy Bela. I mean the CHEEK. He may have thrown his sausage in as many crevices as he could find in his day - but he never raised one sexy finger in the direction of any of his childer :o That cunt. She'll get her comeuppance that one, even her tuna bumpin sister has decided to turn her back on her. 

Bob is slowly turning into ubervillain, weaving his special brand of suave, sophisticated, posh evil around the town. He'll be wearing a cloak and twirling his tash soon, all the while thinking up dastardly ways to get back at the people of Carrigstown. For reasons, kinda unknown. Yeah, they all let him get homeless and shit. But that was mainly cause he was kind of a prick of a homeless man. Stealing the money collected for Charlotte, and other acts of general cuntishness. This week saw him enjoying a meal alone in his new abode, while drinking a glass of wine and listening to "That's Life" and smiling to himself. Smiling to himself.... He even 'cheers'd' himself. I mean, are you fucking for real Fair City? Bond villain it is then.......

(I guess the money is to be spent on MORE snazzy wigs....)

I feel so sorry for poor Decco Bishop. He's got a raging horn for toothy skeletor Caoimhe Dillion, but she's far too busy trying to get her leg over Dean. Who is clearly mad about her...ahem.

Speaking of the Dillion sisters. Jeez, these girls like their peen. Neassa was rocking Turlough's wheelchair, Dearbhla is going all goth for Phillip and Caoimhe is juggling Dean and Decco. Even their hot little brother was sniffing around Rachel. 

I've got them sisters sussed though. Neassa is meant to be the hot ditzy one, but with a deep inner person that needed the love of a great man, Turlough, to finally shine through.

Caoimhe's the quirky, fun, independant one. HOWEVER, she seems independent, but underneath it all she has a craving to be loved, and will do anything for the man she loves. Oh, she's intelligent, but she left college. Sometime soon she will realise her life's ambition to return to medicine.

Whereas Dearbhla, well, I believe her to be the whore of the family. There is always one. She'll be wearing Philip as a hat in no time.

Love connections??

This is just horny guess work on my (and Claire's) part. But I believe that

THIS sexy budda of sexiness

Will soon have carnal knowledge of
THIS sexy tramp siren

My loins are sizzling at the thought....

Craic

The whirlwind romance of Nessa and Turlough came to a fairly abrupt stop last week when the Tempting Turlough decided Nessa was all he needed in order to make his legs work again.
Fair City need to pass on that information to hospitals or something - You CAN walk again, all you need to do it get hole from someone much younger than you with crooked eyes and a pretty constant squinty, crying face. Feck years of painful rehab - buck a tramp. Hmm, maybe I should get that trademarked.....

Anyway, back to Turlough's death. So, 3 weeks into one of the most ill matched but intense relationships in Fair City history, Turlough decided to propose to Nessa - AND to just, you know, get the fuck up from his wheelchair and walk about. He then proceeded to dive head first into a table. A glass table. A glass table which was put there just for him to kill himself on. Yes, KILL himself on a TABLE. He was killed by a table.
Watching Nessa try to comfort him in his last moments was hilarious - owing to the fact that that the actress seemed pretty unwilling to touch any of the fake blood. And, for all the romantic build up of the most intense of all intense relationships - she did NOT want to touch him. And who could blame her, the greasy unwashed beardy yolk. He just looked like he doesn't wash.

Elsewhere - Christie's an odd one. He finds out his wife to be - skanky ho Carol, is bucking slimy Louis. So, obviously his next move should be to let her at it and fuck off to Bahamas or Bermuda or where ever. And was it difficult for Christie to fond out about the pairs shenigans? Was it fuck - they basically run around the pub fiddling with each others genitals in front of everyone. Not a care in the world. Carol even got a jujji new fringe, and one can only presume that it so that Louis had a better view when she was blowing him.

Also Louis's ex- wife is back, looking for money cause of some uninteresting story we will have to hear about for the next 6 weeks, minimum. To get the money he's selling his properties, some of his properties. Why does Louis have to own everything in the town? Pub, Bistro, Hungry Pig, Carols vagina AND the shop.