Thursday 25 May 2017

We need to talk......

This Katy situation, while lengthy, has had moments of sheer brilliance. Last week it peaked, the final Reservoir Dogs meets Saw episodes. Ciaran managed to swap Katie out of the kidnap cubby and put Michael in. The wake up scene with Michael screaming, lads, was genuinely fecking awesome. The place was somehow barer then when Katie was there, (Ciaran, for all his faults, is quite the DIY genius) there was a deep sense of fear, enclosure, terror. Then the Jason and Kylie "Especially for you" of it all - Michael and Katie, everything would be so much easier if they knew what the other was doing, Ciaran in the middle pulling the strings. It was all a bit daft, but there were parts it was genuinely working!

Then ,this clip of Heather may be one of my favourite ever moments in Fair City - not part of the Katy scenario specifically, but hilarious all the same. There must be nothing worse than being a natural cunt then getting a brain injury that means you say the first thing that comes into your head. Asshole tourettes. This is epic hilarity out of Heather

Then there are, eh, other moments

Katy's fucking wig for one. How VERY incognito of them - The two of them thinking they'll escape Carrigstown with him Quasiomodo'ing about, bleeding all over the shop and her looking very much the ropey transvestite.
There they are now, looking as normal and as incognito as possible, sure no would would pass a blind bitta notice to the pair.

I think of the attempted escape clips, the ones CLEARLY fucking recorded on the grounds of RTE are the best of all. The same pillars used by RTE for their fucking reports, Caitlyn and Quazy must have been quite the fucking sight. I'm going to watch the news later in the hopes I catch a glimpse of the two of them jujjing behind Brian Dobson later on. Just Dobbo gettin knocked over by Ciaran as he hobbles bleedily by......
Could they not have gone around the back at least? Some of the most recognisable areas in the country, especially for watchers of RTE...

Delighted they finally furnished Deegan with a Garda buddy. Poor fucker had the weight of every crime in Carrigstown on his shoulders. Enter the new Garda, Garda BigCunt McGeeBag to the rescue. Perpetuating the Fair City stereotype that women have to be "Wagons" to be in anyway useful, and determined to solve crime with bitchy remarks and general bad humor. This character goes 1 of 2 ways - stays a right cunt and is sent off to the land of the periodically returning characters, or mellowed to a completely unrecognisable character to shoehorn her into storylines later....... 

Back to the story, that ending..... Sorry about the spoilers, but here is a genuine recap of the end of Ciaran:
After a harrowing year long kidnap, a Stockholm Syndrome ravaged Katie decides she is Ciaran's bessie mate and the two of them embark on a great escape, all the way from RTE studios in Donnybrook to Dun Laoghaire. Once in Dun Laoghaire they decide the best place to hang out is off by the edge of the pier, and low and behold, Mr. Steady on his feet Ciaran just falls the fuck in

Just fell in....... The man who was dying, who Katie had to DRAG along Dublin, decided he should stand beside the water

I know if I was down by a pier with a dude on deaths door, practically translucent from blood loss I'd leave him swaying, teetering ,by himself, TWO FEET FROM THE SEA

And in she jumped after him. Screaming "Ciaran Noooooo"

And so ends the saga. Presumably Katie is dragged from the sea and Ciaran meets an untimely end. And with his fall, the closing of a chapter on the whole thing

Jibes and lolz, FC wil ensure we have to endure the Stolkholm Syndrome storyline for fucking ages because now they've done one thing that got the country talking, they'll strangle the last bit out of the whole thing..........

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious post as always! I wish you'd update more often though. xx One thing; Michael was the brother who was accidentally killed by Eoghan when Eoghan pushed him outta the way during the showdown at the Ballyntine, causing him to hit - sorry - it was more like a small bump - his head off the reception desk, and later died of a bleed on the brain due to the mild head bump lol! Emmet is the brother (the one you're referring to as (''Michael'') that supposedly used and abused Love/Hate aka Ciaran's sister Tessa and left her stranded in a jungle in Thailand after robbing her money and breaking her heart, she's missing now; hence Love/Hate kidnapping Katy as revenge. xxx Try not to leave it too long before the next update, I live for these posts! lol xx

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