The Dolphin Pod

Aftermath of the car crash, is, eh, confusing to say the least. I missed a bit.... But car accident happened, little annoyance Ben almost died, got better/ Doctors found terminal/serious illness, then Jo and Dermotsch split up because Ben has to live in America now or else he'll die? Eh? Yeah, that seems about right. Dermot is never allowed go see them? Wtf? I'll have to keep watchin to make sense of that shite.....

Niamh and Paul like a married couple without the sex.
So exactly like a married couple WHA?
As far as I can see the scriptwriters had a bad bout of alzheimer's and forgot the whole split up storyline? They are just back together. No trust issues, no leftover feelings of resentment. Just her living at his, pretending they're not together while spending all their time together, bringing up kids in the same house together, getting the shift, drinking together..........

Paul's never comfortable unless it's a mouthful of red carpet

Other couples news, Orla and Wayne - split up already. You hate each other. Genuinely hate each other. From poking around on spoiler sites, it looks like Orla is about to break out the old Cosmo-inspired relationship move of making Wayne jealous. By having Tommy around loads. You know Tommy? The man who got her pregnant just before he went mental and before her and Wayne decided to pretend they baby was Wayne's. In itself the old jealousy tactic is a fabulous relationship tool. Particularly great in this case. Who's relationship WOULDN'T be strengthened by the presence of the real babydaddy? I see great things ahead!!!

And let's just talk about The Dolphin Pod.
Are you actually fucking serious? Those of us particularly older FC fans will remember the good old days of Blue Dolphin. A busy, fast paced business/wife swapping operation owned by Paul, Niamh, Nicola and, eh, I can't remember his name - that sleezy fucker, Donal maybe? Like a wrinkly leather handbag? Got the ride from Nicola's sister when Nicola (who he was with at the time) was busy off getting her Chemo on. THAT Blue Dolphin.
The old times have found reminiscent fame in the form of 'The Dolphin Pod'
What is this? Well, should you find yourself an 18 year old, just out of Leaving Cert, with too little points for Teaching - off you pop on holidays, get yourself a lovely business minded boyfriend, a fringed brown suede jacket and open up a hostel. This can actually all be done in a month you know. That's from day of shitty results through to thriving business. A month. A beautiful Dublin property, fully furnished and sleek. Ran by an 18 year old, who has a week in a Business course under her belt...........
Remember that the fringe jacket is essential. This is to impress upon the world that you are no longer a girl, but a sex having woman!!!

Rachel!! Just let him borrow it already!!!! Thick bitch she is

In other 'Arra sure fuck it, just drop the storyline in to fuck no matter if it fits or makes sense' news: Laura's lesbian lover (when you say that, FC are letting you practice your cunnilingus skills, so listen up you tuna bumpers!!!) Nina has ACTUALLY been in a relationship with long lost Bishop Sash for THRESS YEARS. A lot od which Sash has been in prison for. I mean I swear to fuck. The coincidence of it all would turn ya mental. Sash was a Bishop, went off to prison (aka actress got herself all preggo and whatnot) Nina sniffs around Carrigstown for a gritty family story, and accidentally ends up sniffing Laura's gritty vagina. Love blossoms. How Nina, never before seen in Carrigstown just happened to be in a relationship in the first place with someone from the same village, never mind the cousin of her newest little friend. In fairness, I loved Sash and all her pyjama wearing hilarity.

Extended maternity leave is up lads!!! Make way for Sash's return!!!!