Jo and Tommy do the mattress mambo

One of my favourite things about Fair City are the romances. From Bela and his tryst with Linda (Barry's wife, Bela even preggo'd this one up) to Delores and her fist eating passion over Fr Thaddeous Fair City has always known how to highlight love, emotion and the exceptional skills of their actors.

Tommy and Jo. I mean what can you say. One week they are both loving and devoted family people. The next they are horny nymphos riding and shifting at every opportunity.

My Highlights of their relationship:
Their complete lack of care or guilt. Marraige: smarraige. These two are just dangling their genitals at each other, all the time. I mean Tommy practically does the helicopter from the other side of the room every time he sees her, and Jo might as well be shaking her tits and flashing her cat. They are not subtle. At ALL. What is unbelievable is that no one seems to notice. All the coy glances and smouldering looks. No one notices a thing..

The way hey speak to each other.
Tommy after the shift (and feedin the pony I imagine)"I could taste that all day "
Jo wet "Take me to bed"
Tommy in the Helping Hand "I want you" (even creepier as he WHISPERED it)

Tommy in general
Phenomenal actor. Round of applause for this lad.........

Really wish he had kept this hairstyle. 

I'm still LOVING Thalidomide man. I love that he and Suzanne fuck now. And, presumably cause the Irish public are not prepared for a naked Thalidomide man - they get to have their carnal activities slightly covered up. They are never seen naked in a bed. Nah, instead we see David pretending to put back on a CLEARLY already fully buttoned top, and Suzanne looking for her shoes. 

David, well the actor who plays him. Is too creepy. And this has nothing to do with his arms (they're not creepy they're hilarious) It's his accent, and the fact that he is so 'hands-on' with Suzanne (Get it :) ). He calls her 'hot'.

LIES!

Now I understand. Handi-capable people need their fannies and willies felt just as much as the next person. But I feel as though it is an injustice to Suzanne that he calls her hot. Lets call a spade a spade here. What he needs to say is 

"Yo! Suzanne. Here's the deal. I look like the human embodiment of a 5 year old's painting. You look like you were meant to be aborted. Might as well buck each other yeah?"

It's only fair.

Final note, something for the spank bank 

Hope Suzanne is into felching :)

Thalidomide Man TO THE RESCUE

I actually don't know where to start on this update, between it being so long since I last updated and the fantastic goings on of the Carrigstown peeps.

My favourite storyline Fair City has come out with in YEARS - Esters Thalidomide baby.

CROTCH WATCH No. 1 - David's bulge

CROTCH WATCH No. 2 - Esther scratching/masturbating against the table

Consider the scene - it's 1960's Ireland, your a  lady with a penchant for cock, and you like your cock sans prophylactic. Then, when you found yourself up the duff you got down with the cool kids and got off your tits on 
thalidomide to make sure that pesky morning sickness didn't dampen your spirit (or undampen your crotch)
But ALAS - when the fruit of your loins pops out it looks like the result of the carnal fusion of you and a T-Rex and Louis from the bar. 
So what do you do? Give it away and forget about it for forever. Of forget about it until it finally works out how to use it's midgety little arms to ring her.


I love how proud Fair City are of their thalidomide man. He is always shown with his little chicken wing arms in FULL view (remember years ago on The Den when Dustin used to do 'the flap-flaps'?? That's THIS guy 
life...)


They have shown him actively using his warped lil hands too. Handshaking and kettle pouring are no problem for him. However, the greatest scene of his Fair City career so far HAS to be him scaring away Suzanne's attacker (Eh, Mark - we'll get back to that one....) I can only presume that HAD he been able to rip of his shirt, it would have had a TM logo in red and blue underneath.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it Louis? Is it's a T-Rex? NO! IT'S THALIDOMIDE MAN

GO THALIDOMIDE MAN


And what do I predict is next for TM? Suzanne's nickers THAT'S WHAT. Yes, I see the lovely David, with his lovely arms fiddling at Suzanne. I can see him being good at boob action, not too difficult, but how is he going to run her waspy raisin? Stay tuned...........

Look at her hands, it's like she's pulling the piss outta him, that bitch :o. You'd NEVER catch me doing something that inappropriate - btw, to make your OWN thalidomide 'costume' all you need is a t-shirt, the mind of a child and some crossed arms. Go ON - give it a try :)