Only a few years ago wife beating was RIFE in the Halpin household. Mr. Halpin loved nothing better than a bitta wife murdering before the soaps of an evening. Mrs. Halpins death itself was a landmark in hilarity.
"NO, MARTY NO!!!!! Ugh...." Dead. Her leg twitching, hanging over the doorway to the kitchen. Oh how we laughed......
Now the tables are turned, and young Mister Halpin, Damian, is getting batings from the wife.
His wife who, up until about 5 weeks ago, was just the nicest person ever. Running round all over town getting shiz fixed for stroke victims all over Ireland. Working hard and helping 'Da' (AKA sexified Bela 'The Stump' Doyle) She also had a great thing going with her side job as a donkey impersonator. (Yeah, she LOOKS like a donkey)
Then, he went and bucked someone else :o THAT BASTARD. Time to beat the shite out of him!!!
With a snooker cue
Or an iron
Or a shovel
YAY, bating for Damian, fun for the donkey. Hee HAW
"STOP MAKING ME DO THIS DAMIAN" *whack*
"YOU FAT USELESS LUMP" *sizzle*
"MAKE ME PREGNANT" *cream*
Suzanne giving Damian a bit of a batter with the fire shovel. Gwan, give it to him. Mmmm, Damian looks sexy doesn't he? Slurp
The best part about Damian's batings is execution. I can only presume that only the best of the best stunt and fight coordinators were used in the filming of the scenes. That Damian cowers like a pro.
Tonight it made a turn for the unexpected as Suzanne burned HERSELF with a lighter :o Crazy little bitch that she is. In order to feign victim to Bela "The Stump".
Elsewhere, not fucking much else is happening. Fair City like to really hold onto a storyline and not let go. So basically our Fair City inhabitants are all stood outside Damian and Suzanne's with their lil old glass to the wall listening to the bating and chatting about it.
Last week of course there was the swingers "mix- up" with Dermot and Jo and The new Doctor who used to be in Upwardly Mobile and her husband, possible one of the worst actors I have ever seen. He makes Rita look like an Oscar winner. Anyway, a series of mishaps led Dermot and Jo to believe that the new hot couple round town were mad for their genitals. Oh, hilarity ensued. Eventually they all sorted it out and had a big old laugh about it. Then they all went back to Dermot's, lubed up and bucked all over the shop. I presume.
