Jo went to the most hilarious school reunion ever. Utter American cheesy bollox. Romy and Michelle style. Jo used to get bullied by the popular girl. Enter slender shoulders Dermotsche making up stories about owning a chain of restaurants and the like. Mean Girl #1's husband gets a little handsy with Jo and she catches him. What does she do? Piss her shite laughing with Jo about how they are all failures in life. Not a bother, cheaty husband, off ya go, we'll have the chat later, giggle giggle.
Cunt never takes off the flasher Mac either
Speaking of relationships - Fair City were out to give everyone relationship advice
First up Pete got advice from the new drunk doctor. Pete is finding it hard to tent pitch now that Dolores is receiving treatment for cancer. That's kinda fair enough. Fucking hard time that. Then the doctor gave him fairly good fucking advice too - to tell Dolores the truth about his feelings about her and her cancer. Her reaction was to dump him and throw him out. Done. Moral of the story? Never tell your beure the truth damnit!
Then Doug and Amma. Doug has been trying to get his leg over Amma for some time now. Amma has been prick teasing poor Doug, hardcore friendzoning him. Doug pretended to have a date for valentines (he did, a date with a bottle of Durex Sweet Strawberry lube and Pornhub) and it got Amma all kinds of bothered. Sup boys - treat em mean, keep em keen. Man, I bet she'd be all fucking instructional riding him 'No Doug, I do not think that is correct. Please take that out of there' 'Yes Doug, please keep going, this is all very satisfactory and I think I might be about to experience the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual tension' (You'll need to mentally add Amma's voice to that......)
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Ama leans in and whispers 'Fancy pegging?'
A journalist mysteriously shows up in town to do a piece on the Charity Shop. Man are charity shops fucking interesting. Fucking hell I love nothing more than a charity shop story. RAGIN she decided to go with the angle of 'Person in charity shop grows up not mental after Father kills mother then kills self' cause that's been done to death like! OH! And! The journalist - pure lesbian. Not that she's done anything inherently 'lesbian' yet - but lingering looks at Laura show you what's coming. (I dunno what's inherently lesbian in the Fair City world - Yvonne was a lesbian, so, eh maybe being a lesbian means sitting on a pile of dicks? Not sure, I'll ask) The journalist WAS meant to be doing a story on the charity shop - but then realised that this was THE Halpin family - of the murder suicide story. Oh, and the journalist just HAPPENED to be on the bridge the day Marty died............. Coincidences are strangely rife at times
Laura with her apprentice lesbian foundling. That's how it works yeah? Yeah. Foundling isn't getting ANYWHERE with those moves......
Damien never takes his bands out of his pocket. Never. What's he DOING in there? Bitta side wanking? Is side wanking a thing? It should be. If' I'd a dick I'd be side wanking all day long. I'd be a terrible human being as a man. Ball fondling must be so much fun.........
Charlotte is back and man she'll do anything to get the ride from Callum. She left Spain to come back and try and trick Callum into, I dunno, falling in love with her? She's going to be dangerous. Bit of a compulsive liar, and already killed her father (even if it WAS justified, this is a soap so she won't be allowed to do that and just live a normal life)
Charlotte shifts Callum as Decco looks on and considers furiously masterbating now, or later
