Joe and Dermotsch are back doing the mattress mambo. They have decided to keep this secret but to engage in creepy sex talk. In order to pretend that they are still separated Jo is convincing people that Dermotsch is sick and sleeping on her couch (to explain why he is always there) Their sexy talk is about as erotic as vomit on shite. "you look so sexy in your pyjama's Dermotch!!" (ACTUAL WORDS FROM THE SCRIPT)

I find it borders on child abuse when they start using coded sex talk in front of their lil flute Ben. No kid his age is too thind to not get it. "I think we should go to the bedroom and strip" (ridiculously long pause) "the wallpaper"  He knows your boning - he's too polite or disgusted to call you on it.........

Also, getting PRETTY disgusted with their shifting. WHY does Jo have to make creepy aroused little shreeks everytime they shift? Again, as erotic as vomit on shite......

Paul Brennan has a new child. Callum is 18 years old and comes up outta the blue. That brings Paul's kids list to 4. 4 kids by 4 women. Niamh is taking this bad. And ya can't blame her. The poor barren bitch can't have one and he's lobbed out 4 without much effort. Callum is quite the little prick, I see only good things ahead. I presume there will be no clichéd 'troubled child' story lines involving drink and drugs? Oh, wait - he's already a lil holic......

Charlotte is one desperate little hussey. I feel sorry for this young one. Rachel is clearly the writers favourite and they hate Charlotte so they write her as a little cunt. Charlotte is DYING to ride Callum, and he's using her for shits n giggles. She invited him for a classy evening of choons and stolen champers in her brothers robbery den and got herself the shift. (SUCH a privileged childhood. I wish MY brothers were thieving little cunts so I could have had a hideaway to get fingered by youngfellas while being surrounded by stolen merchandise)

However great this sexy set up was, she was cruelly interrupted mid finger bang by one of her bros. Only for Callum to buckle under pressure or the brothers abuse and call her a psycho. And she's STILL wet for him. Fucking eejit. I miss her wigs - they were good craic 

Speaking of the Bishops - they fucking love walking with their hands in their pockets. Everywhere they go they have 2 hands in their cheap jackets. Feeling their willy's I presume

And finally it was lil Ruth's birthday party. This young one is 3 years old. Who do you invite to a 3 year olds party? Creche friends? Cousins? Neighbour kids?

No

You invite the strangest bunch of people to a 3 year olds party:

Ruth the birthday girl
Paul, her father
Niamh, Ruth's fake mother, as her real mother Yvonne gave her up after Paul got her preggers. Yvonne who is ALSO Rachel's mother's sister
Orla, Niamh's cousin
Callum, ANOTHER one of Paul's kids. 4 kids, 4 mothers. Classayyyyyyy
Ray, Niamh's dead mothers ex boyfriend
Vivienne, Niamh's dead mothers ex boyfriend's new girlfriend
Bella, her grandfather AND her sisters grandfather
Rachel in slutty shorts, Ruths sister cousint
Cass, Niamh's grandfather

Fucking Fair City, my head hurts...........