Eddie, Colley and some head rape

Eddie is a creepy fucking slimeball. Curtains died in the early 00's but he didn't seem to hear about that. Apart from having horrific hair he spends the rest of his time sorting out 'investments'. No explanation - just 'investments'. And in the entire time he has been there only one investment came off in anyone's favour - Paul's random windfall.

He convinced poor gobshite Wanyne to rob some money from Delores. Wayne had no idea Delores had almost a million in the bank. Eddie managed to steal it. Now, forgive me if I'm wrong but SURELY internet banking is a little more difficult than stealing someone's laptop and clicking the transfer button? Well, not in Fair City - rob a laptop, clear the bank account.

Olly Murs Pete and Delores cheer Wayne up with an amazing performance of big fish, small fish, carsboard box

But Eddie's criminal ways caught up with him. Crazy Collie found out about the money he stole from Delores and wanted it for himself and Flynn. Again,the shocking disgrace that is the security of internet banking helped In this case they didn't even need bank information - they just clicked the transfer button and the internet automatically knew what shit was going down. After that Collie gave Eddie a right bating. He leathered him so hard that Eddie no longer had the ability to wear suits and had to hobble around Carrigstown in a hoody.

In the end Eddie admitted everything to his mother who then squealed on him to the Gardai. This resulted in 2 of the most hilarious near batings in Fair City history. The first is Eddie about to attack his mother for calling the Gardai. He physically went after her, with the gards there looking at him. THEN came Christies attempt at a slap - "YOU ATTACKED ME" swinging for him with big crazy Christie eyes wide open. Sadly his slap missed:(

Paul Brennan is now the SMUGGEST cunt in the world. He got money from 'the investment' and clearly bought some bollocky bastard pills. Every sentance has a snappy retort and an eyebrow raise. He'll get his comeuppance when that pious little gick of a child of his Rachel develops a heroin addiction/finds prostitution

Vivienne is stalking around after Paddy, trying to stop him getting work or a place to live. I actually LOVE Paddy Bishop. He'e fucking hilarious - constantly calling Vivienne and Charlotte 'his favourite girls' particularly finny since he used to bate the shite outta Viv. She loves the irony in that too you can tell.

Quick news:

Smokes the fags Carol can't afford nappies but has a hape of fags. Louis isn't sending her money for loads more fags the baby so she has enlisted the help of Bob and is swapping insults with Yvonne. Yvonne's natural state is prime cunt isn't it? That beure is never actually happy. The happiest she has actually been in years was when her mother died


Did Carol always sound like such a man?

Tommy and Judith broke up, this had made me realise Tommy LOVES twitching and nodding

And finally Orla's extentions are fucking horrific. She looks like her head was raped.