Cha cha now y'all

Yvonne and Carol are in some weird game of swapsies over Dan.
That's how love works ya see. Partners are interchangeable dependant on circumstance. Can't be bothered going all the way to your boyfriends house? Well ex-bae is only 3 doors up.... Dump boyf for the afternoon, note to self to get him back when location changed, It's more convenient for Carol if Yvonne has Dan, so, she just gives him to her.

Since he came to Far City he flirted with both, decided on Carol. Threw her round on his cock for a while. They spilt after deciding they weren't right for each other, clearly the real love was between him an Yvonne. So off they went to have a happy life together. But a quick fling put paid to that. And Dan did (confusingly) seem to decide his love was with Carol.

Now that he's paralysed, well, basically Carol doesn't want him. Not even leaving it to a stressed out decision after months of being carer. Just a flat out, hands raised 'Nope! Not it!' While Yvonne is mentally fitting out her apartment for his wheelchair, pencil behind the ear, ready for the DIY.

Although Carol has no interest in him without the use of his cock legs, she is pretending to. So clearly she's a lovely lady. I suppose, for the foreseeable, we're just going to have to watch Carol wheeling him passive agressively wheeling him through the streets, while accidentally tipping ashes from her mouth set cigarette onto his poor little baldy head . Right little Florence Cuntingale.

Have you ever had that one friend you're always competing with? Maybe it's a sibling? You always have to get the last word in any argument. Nicola and Niamh are like that. Except it's less getting the last word in any argument, and more getting the last go of Paul's knob in their vagina. As soon as Nicola heard Paul was single, down she came (on his knob). Niamh is killed with jealousy but only because it's Nicola. Poor smug egg head Paul needs to be told neither of them give a flying fuck about him or his strangely conical shaped head.

And then Niamh decides to leave Michael! For what? Cause Rachel is pissy? Cause her and Paul are fighting? Maybe STOP FIGHTING with Paul over Nicola, instead of breaking up with the man you left your family for?! It doesn't even make any sense. Unless she was actively looking for the most stupidly selfless act? She'll achieve nothing bar a cobwebbed fanny from lack of action. Her and Paul are still separated. They still live separately. They kids will all still have to split their time between them.

Remember the drama of the missing Neil? Well in he walks. Not a fucking bother on him. In he walks into the shop where Doug was. Just one or two little plot holes there Fair City dude. How the fuck did he know where Doug was going to be? How did he afford the flight when all his shit was stolen? Why didn't he ring anyone at any stage to say he was coming home?

What level of hungover WERE you to think up this scenario. I think I can imagine the happenings:

"Hey, Mr. writer, we still have Neil missing, but the Dolores cancer storyline is happening?"
Writer lifts his wary head from the table, an empty bottle of Jack Daniels tipped beside him, part of a doner kebab on his face
"ugh srg, grumph....... just have him come back.......to...the, (yawn) shop....."
head back on desk.

SHOCKER - Morbeg Crowley has seen Neil between her postnatal fuelled departure!! More to be revealed, but I mentally inserted a montage of them in London, on the London Eye, picking George Clooney's nose in the Wax Museum, her jumping out from behind something in the London Dungeons and them having a great laugh about it.........

And poor Dolores has breast cancer. I would never make fun of cancer AHEM........ But Fair City does NOT like genitals or sexy bits. From Bella's suspected knob cancer, to Mr Piggot and Flyods separate demise from, again, knob cancer (Ah I know it was prostrate, but ffs, have you READ my shite - of course I'm going to take 'artistic' license) right up to Delores' diseased melons, it's not a good place to have male or female parts.

Let's just have a moments silence for Delores' boobs...........

Boob slap to the left....

 

Boob slap to the right.........

Take it back now Wayne!!!