Fuck goblin

I KNEW no one would want to bone Paul Brennan that much! Turns out Callum's mother only wanted money. Well, she wants money and has also had the WORST reaction to a one night stand in the world. I know, some of you might say the worst reaction to a one nighter is pregnancy, and it is, but she had THAT bad reaction and is UBER bitter with Paul. She has taken GREAT offence to the fact that he was NOT in love with her after a drunken bang! How VERY dare he! HE MUST PAY FOR NOT LOVING HER.

Also, World's Worst Mother award for her. Blackmailing is all fine and well but she's made her son think she's dying from cancer. Her son who recently enough lost his stepfather. To cancer. And how many fucks does she give? Not very many. Actually, she gives precisely no fucks. The last fuck she did give was probably the one she gave to egg head Paul that got her up the duff with poor Callum. Ah jibes, she gave a PILE of fucks to Tommy, and I have a feeling this little fuck goblin* is not shy of cock........

Jane is pretending to be riddled with cancer which can only be cured in Germany. She needs 40,000 for this treatment, and she needs it now cause she's going tomorrow. She even told Paul her plan. But she'll be back in a few weeks after the treatment has been successful. Good luck with that one Paul. It's totally going to be the end of that. Crazy lady is going to come back and thank you for playing her blackmail game, she had a great holiday and life is good.

So Charlie's horrifically ginger grandson is back, and as my petition to get all gingers sterilised has not worked its magic, he has come back with a child. The poor unfortunate blind (I presume) girl he cajoled into the ride not only hid her pregnancy from her parents, but hid the child from them too. Usually I would express my shock at Fair City making up as ridiculous storyline as this. But I say yeah, fair enough. Look at him. I'd have disowned the child too.

Esther is only creaming the beaver over the child too. In fairness she's not used to babies with all their limbs correct and attached, so I suppose you can forgive her for wanting TJ and the sprog to stay.

As it turns out it's not that simple. TJ's girlfriend was terrified to tell her family she was up the duff. So much so that she hid her entire pregnancy and birth, then gave the child to the father to be raised gingerly while she goes about her business. Then out of the blue she phones to let TJ know she told her family, they accept her fully, they want TJ and the baby there and they have him a job. Eh, yup. About right. Cause that's how life turns out. They better be back baby in tow fairly sharpish or this may just qualify as Fair City's biggest non story to date........

Mondo's girlfriend is all levels of fucking flute. That's it like, she's a flute. From her flutey hair to her flutey voice and the fact that she has NO personality past being a flute. She's a flute like.

*All rights to Fuck Goblin are given to a Sligo cunt............