Lucy, crazy, crazy Lucy

I'm not gonna lie - I fucking LOVE the Lucy storyline. Absolutely fucking love it.

The plot - Lucy turns up in Carrigstown about a year ago at this stage, if not more, with tales of how she can now see thanks to getting poor little dead Jessica's eyeballz. She proceeds to kinda con Delores out of money. But then comes back to pay her back. Eventually.

She returns only to want to bone Damian. When her and Damian didn't work out she eventually gave into Wayne's desperate begging for the ride.

In the meantime bitch gets crazy in love with Delores. In the freakiest way - completely obsessed with her. At one stage calls her mam. She then does her utmost to get rid of anyone who might pose a threat to her and Delores. Pete and Laura mainly. Highlights of her most recent crazy:

•  found out as having carnal knowledge of Harry Molloy. And yet Wayne still wants to buck her. Nice, nice and SEXY. At least Delores realised she was a lying wank at this stage. She'll be lubing herself up for Pete again soon I suspect

THE PHOTO
This is meant to be a picture of 2 people in the middle of a lusty affair. Fuck - that's hot. Should probably censor that shit. And as my friends pointed out - who the fuck took the pic? And WHY are they posing like that? "Hey, random stranger! Please take a pic of me and my sexy middle aged lover? THANKS - Oh WAIT, let us pose first :)" Excellent! Great pic of us looking like we're about to slit our wrists." 
There is also the possibility that this is a picture of her giving him a wank - look at it again......... 

• Tells everyone that she had a child with Harry. A child that she had to give away. Called Deirdre Moran or something. In my head Deirdre, had she been real, would have looked like Quagmire! 
• Tells everyone that lesbian social worker Emily raped her. Cause she is so credible one more won't hurt. 

And through all this Wayne is still with her. Wayne, this woman rode your auld lad. Like, she actually sat on his dick, maybe played with his balls a bit - I don't know, I wasn't there - but she did ride him. You sick, sick, sick ginger freak.

And I have read the spoilers - shit goes DOWN next week. If the pics are anything to go by, knitting needles would be MY weapon of choice too ya crazy, mad cunt.

AND DELORES FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK WILL YA TAKE OFF THE MAC. It's like the bitch is fucking attached to that coat! At least fucking wash it ya filthy whore.

Lucy is kind of taking over everything but ELSEWHERE:

AFFAIRS OF THE GENITAL KIND:

Judith and her brother in law, Blackie Connors, will they, won't they? I think this is meant to be a will they won't they have an affair kinda storyline BUT it might be a will they won't they have a staring contest storyline instead. I swear these too live by the 'if you can't act just make your eyes a bulgy as fuck' school of acting.

Shocker of the century - Dermotsch is gonna bone Ben's teacher. They are REALLY playing up the whole free spirit thing with this beure. All about her being sporadic, crazy and free. Think she's meant to be bring Dermotsch out of his shell, but if I have to watch either of them dance their way in or out of a scene.........

And Louis is having an affair with his over bronzed ex wife. Again - another shocker. His hair really makes me laugh. I'd say he spends more time blowdrying that mess. His eyes creep me out too. And his nose. He looks like Justin Beiber after a few too many hard living years. 

LAURA'S LESBIANISM

Ah Laura, ya big lesian. I don't mean this in a homophobic way - I mean it in a for fuck sake Fair City can you not just let her be a lesbian (i.e. fancy and ride girls) and not make her ACT lesbian ALL.THE.TIME. 

HEY - LESBIAN HERE!WATCH HER ACT LIKE A LESBIAN. WE ARE SO DOWN WITH THE LESBIANS. YAY, NO HOMOPHOBIA HERE!!! GO LESBIANS!

FLOPPY FUCKER EDDIE

Who is this day and age has curtains? THIS BASTARDO:

Floppy fucker Eddie describing the first time he played with Leo's balls to an enthralled, and aroused, Decco